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When I was in Hyderabad, my friend had this “World’s best glue board” mouse trap set in his house behind the TV. The graphic on the trap packaging was pretty funny. It read “No killing, no smell, no hassel”:

I chuckled at:

  1. Irresistable peanut butter (Mice have high standards these days, whatever happened to cheese?)
  2. ‘I’m stuck, It’s a trap!’ (It sure is Jerry, now suffer till you suffocate to death, nice and slow)
  3. No killing (The most misleading bit, for mice anyway)
  4. “No hassel” (an afternoon filled with screaming mice and cats is no hassle whatsoever)
  5. Non toxic/Non poisonous (safe for even your little baby to play in/eat/roll about in)

He set it at night, and the next morning, all was well in my life in general. I went for a bath and came out to deodorize etc. when I thought I heard some faint squeaking noises coming from the tv. Very weak squeaking noises. I thought there must’ve been a loose connection with the TV wire and it was fizzling so I decided to look behind the TV. There were two little mice in the rat trap, covered in sticky goo, squirming and wriggling around. They looked so covered with ooze! And they must’ve been struggling all night. Harmless trap? I think not. No killing? Lots of pain and suffering instead. Both little mice were squeaking very feebly, and still not given up hope. We picked up the trap of suffocating death and put it outside in the garden (hey, at least we wouldn’t have to HEAR them suffering right?). However the caring maid noticed the trap laying outside and promptly picked it up and put it back behind the TV, both mice intact (where do these maids of wisdom come from?). The faint squeaking sound did but reach my ears after breakfast and I wondered if the sounds would never escape my memory and would haunt me for a while after all that mousey suffering we just witnessed. Both my friend and I were horrified when we peeked behind the TV and saw the gory macabre of mousey hell back in place. We couldn’t set the mice free because they were completely covered in very thick sticky goo (we’d have to bathe them in kerosene to completely wash that off, and from what I know, mice don’t like kerosene baths).

So we picked up the trap again, mice screaming away, and went further out into the garden and set it down hoping the sun would dry up the goo or something. We could’ve stamped on them or drowned them or done something inhumane like that to put an end to their suffering but we didn’t have it in us. I mean, we’re not ogres right? As we walked back in we heard a cat’s meow, and noticed the resident mother and daughter cat walking up to the wriggling mice.

“Dinner on a silver platter baby girl!” The mother cat seemed to say as she watched the two mice squirming with delight.

“Mmmm mmmm mama, let’s eat!” the little kitten said and stepped forward, mouth drooling.

The mother wanted to show the kitten how it was done professionally and promptly swiped at the sticky mice with her paw. The mouse stuck to her paw and she hissed and spat with horror as the air was filled with cat shrieks and mouse squeals. She shook her paw vigorously to rid herself of this mess but to no avail.

I struggled to open my phone’s video camera but by the time I could to navigate to the stupid business Nokia E75’s (*UPDATE* This phone was stolen from me later) video function, the cat had run away with the mouse.


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